MovieGulp once had a one-on-one meeting with a studio marketeer who told us that her company didn’t make movies to sell tickets, they made them to sell toys.
And while some time has passed, and some corporate takeovers have occurred since that meeting, it’s a conversation that pops up into our heads every time a new cash-in crops up, not least with the news of a new He-Man movie.
Still scrabbling around for franchises to fight Disney with, Sony have agreed to produce He-Man alongside that bastion of good storytelling, Mattel Films.
But the project is taking a lot of time to get off the ground, and now it seems Sony have turned to the Iron Man writers to produce a new draft of the script.
Art Marcum and Matt Holloway were lauded for their work on Iron Man having turned a property that seemed ridiculous on paper into a global box office smash that went on to land Marvel (and later Disney) with the map to box office gold.
They were also brought on board the new Men In Black International movie. Which, for their sakes, really needs to be better than the trailer suggests.
As such, MovieGulp remains utterly unconvinced that He-Man is a character worthy of a big screen outing. He started off as a toy, got a cartoon (that was torpedoed by Thundercats), a low-budget movie, Masters of the Universe, that was set on studio street sets at night to save money (cheaper than building the world from the cartoon, Enarnia or whatever it was called) and then appeared in some mind-numbingly annoying TV adverts.
He also has the least convincing alter-ego of all time, and as far as we can tell, only remains relevant because 40-year-old men passed their toys on to their children.
Not that any of that will stop Sony doing their thing.
Also, what exactly were He-Man and that idiot with the weird collar thing masters of? And the universe? They mastered everything in the universe? From what we can remember, they rarely got out of a desolate field.